Sometimes the obvious is so very blinding in its obviousness, standing right there in front of you with a huge flashing neon sign saying ‘obvious’, it beggars belief when you fail to notice it.
Such is the case with makeup. Well, not makeup itself, but application processes and general cleverness.
I’ve been wearing the stuff for quite a few years now, so I’ve pulled together some useful hacks to help you learn from my experiences, good and bad. You’ve probably already twigged about most of my beauty wisdom, but some of it might just turn out to be such a life-changing revelation you’ll wonder how you ever survived without it.
I feel it my duty and responsibility to humankind to share the knowledge I’ve gained during countless hours buffing, bronzing, preening, plying, tweezing, scrubbing, moisturising, daubing, smudging and blending.
Here goes…
Science – is there really ever that much genuine science behind war paint and moisturiser? Big words and fancy-pants packaging don’t necessarily make a product any better than the rest. The jury’s out. Get to know which ingredients suit your skin and which don’t, then use that as a guide.
Tinted moisturiser – no good for oily skin, whatever they may tell you. It will slide off, leaving an oil-slick residue behind that no amount of blotting paper can counteract. Fact.
Foundations – one of the most important products in your makeup arsenal, so be sure to bide your time and only part with your hard-earned cash when you’re 100 per cent happy with the one you’ve found. Here are some of the most important things to remember:
- It’s near impossible to find the perfect shade, particularly when things like lighting play such a crucial role. Be dedicated and persevere.
- There are gazillions of different products to choose from, all promising a multitude of various amazingness, which quite frankly is really confusing.
- This is invariably accompanied by all sorts of special deals that can end up bamboozling you into making rushed decisions, spending more than you should have and buying extras you didn’t want (or need.) Don’t be afraid to take time out to cool off and clear your head.
The secret is to try several different foundations out and be sure to test them all in the real world. Get samples to take away with you if you can, so you can see how an entire face of the stuff fares. If not, splodge some on your jawline and the side of your nose (these areas have varying natural oil levels and catch the light differently) then walk away. Yes people: Make like Elvis and leave the building.
Check how things look outside in daylight, inside in harsh office lighting, then do so again in three hours time. Maybe even head to a few changing rooms and loos for good measure – after all, if a foundation can sort out your skin tone in that sort of horrendous lighting, you’re definitely on to a winner.
It might seem like a right rigmarole, but there’s no better way to feel utterly deflated than spending a small fortune on foundation only to find it makes you look tangoed, anaemic or super-shiny.
Eyeshadow – good brushes are absolutely essential when it comes to applying powder eyeshadow well, particularly darker colours. Invest in some really good quality ones: They’re indispensable. Some brushes are brilliant for patting colour on, while others are great for sweeping, swirling and blending. Make sure you choose bristles that are going to be kind to your skin, because your eye area is particularly delicate.
For eyeshadow that looks really effervescent without necessarily being massively glittery (unless that’s what you want), a crème eyeshadow is the answer. They’re also less likely to sink into fine lines, or look dated and dusty. They tend to crease pretty badly in my eye sockets, though, so I prime with a neutral face powder first. You could try one of the plethora of primers made specifically for this purpose, but I’m reluctant to buy into the hype and spend even more money. I think they do work but not really better than powder.
Eyeliner – this most brilliant of products always makes your eyes water when you apply it to the waterline, so take plenty of soothing eye drops out with you, as well as the pencil itself for frequent touchups. Also keep a regular lookout for eye smeg/gloop in the inner corners of your eyes and/or ask your mates to help keep watch. It only takes a few minutes for this bane of the beauty world to accumulate, so be on your guard. A cotton bud or two isn’t a bad idea either, for those moments when humid environments make your sexy, sultry, smoky eye makeup migrate down into your eyebags.
Much as I love black eyeliner – not least a bold sweep of super-huge cat’s-eye flicks to rival Cleopatra – some occasions (and general daytime) call for something of a lighter touch. I love brown and plum shades, because they look really natural and somehow manage to add a bit of depth and drama without being OTT or really obvious. For a pop of colour that can also be really fun, especially in summer, dot a slightly glittery gold or mint green on your inner and outer corners.
Mascara – if I only wear one bit of makeup, it’s mascara – and I nearly always curl my eyelashes first. People who see me without my trademark wide-awake look come over all concerned and think I’m ill. However, not all mascaras are worth the money. Here’s what I know:
- Waterproof doesn’t mean sweat and smudge-proof.
- Many of those annoying plastic brushes will straighten out curled lashes.
- Certain formulas will do the same, possibly because they’re too heavy or possibly because they’re just crap.
- The best all-rounder I’ve ever found is Loreal’s Lash Architect.
Blusher – powders can be applied over your base but can look dusty and cakey, especially on older skin. Crème should be applied direct to the skin, so it can kind of melt into it. I’ve tried it over the top of foundations and translucent face powder before, only to be left with a swirling mess of uneven blotchiness. Fine for some kind of kid’s art project, not so great for your face.
Highlighter – blend, dear people, blend. It’s the only way to avoid streaks of blunt glittery lines. And avoid going overboard, otherwise you’ll look like a glitter ball.
Lips – no matter how many advances, how many ‘breakthroughs’ they can’t wait to tell you about and how many ‘innovations’ their supposedly clever inventors have made, lipstick – and gloss – is a truly hit or miss affair. I’ve spent so much money trying to find the perfect pucker-up product I can’t even begin to tell you – it’s so infuriating. Either the formula’s super-comfy but the staying power’s pants, or the colour’s super-luxe but the nourishment’s absolutely zero. You just can’t win.
I’ve indulged in numerous big brands, luxury products and el cheapo attempts alike, only to find there’s absolutely no rhyme or reason when it comes to how much they moisturise, dry, cake, flake, stain, gloop, stay put, wear, fade, change colour or irritate. It truly is one of life’s little annoyances.
And perhaps even worse is the fact you can’t return any massive fails like you can with clothes and shoes, in spite of false claims or promises. I guess everyone’s skin and lifestyle is different, so we just have to live with the whole trial and error approach.
One thing I have learnt, though, is that mix and match is rarely a good idea. By this I mean, if you mess with a product by adding others to it, you’re likely to affect its performance. I used to put moisturising lip balms under lipsticks, thinking they would help my lips stay hydrated and feel comfortable, but in fact it often had the opposite effect and caused the colour to fade faster and dry my lips out. I guess the products and ingredients were reacting badly to each other.
Here are a few other hacks you might find helpful:
- Straws can help your Cupid’s bow last that little bit longer when drinking. [Environmentally friendly paper ones rather than plastic, obvs.]
- Licking your smackers as little as possible when scoffing food is another top tip. Opt for ravioli you can shovel straight in, rather than spaghetti you have to seriously slurp (unless you’re going for that Lady & The Tramp moment, in which case it’s worth making the sacrifice).
- Snogging, I’m afraid, is pretty much the death knell for even the most enduring of lipstick and lip gloss products. If such tonsil action is on your agenda, be sure to go for a nude balm of some description rather than a full-on, time-consuming, brightly coloured, precision-edged pout that took ages to apply, otherwise you’ll both look like you’ve been in a fight and have smacked each other in the mouth.
And here endeth my beauty sermon. I hope some of the above has been helpful and you’re one step closer to finding your beauty nirvana. I’ll cover skincare and bodycare in due course, too.
Thanks for reading!
soozebee 